The Whelps

by The Whelps

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The Whelps' debut album was recorded in a cabin in the south-east of England in 2014 and home-produced on a broken laptop through the following couple of months. Using a single Shure SM57 microphone and any equipment they could get their hands on, The Whelps created this twelve track LP.


released July 7, 2014

Adam Hammet: Guitars, Drums, Vocals
Jack Charter: Bass Guitar, Backing Vocals

All songs written, recorded and produced by The Whelps.



all rights reserved


The Whelps Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

The Whelps are a two piece garage rock band from the south-east of England.

Adam Hammet: Guitars, Drums, Vocals
Jack Charter: Bass Guitar, Backing Vocals


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Track Name: I Spent My Shrapnel On Wine
I spent my shrapnel on wine, so I could stop and unwind.
Anesthetise all the thoughts that were crowding my mind.
I sat down on a chair and started pulling out my hair,
So in my head I could check there was more than just air.
I ride my bike just to scream, I hear the sound bounce back at me.
The wind stings in my eyes and I hear the crash of the sea.
A tiring job does me good, I like the tears sweat and blood.
On basic pay - I don't care - but I know that I should.
Track Name: I Would Have Danced
I would have danced. I would have twisted.
I would have danced. I would have jived.
I would have danced. I would grooved.
I would have danced. I would have had much more fun.

What would you do in my lonely shoes?
What would you do in my hollow shoes?
What would you do in my vacant shoes?
Well now i'll tell you what i'd do.
Track Name: Black Sea
Got a stain in my head you left last night
And I don't think it was just my cold
You made me feel like I was seventeen again
Your skin is shadow and white gold

From where i'm standing your life is clean
Converse, tight seams and jade green jeans
Comb through your hair like a horses mane
Give me that pleasure before I die.

Are you taking that piece of me?
Back across the sea? Your Black Sea?
Yeah this just wasn't for me. Nah this just wasn't for me.
At least i'm light and free.
Are you taking that piece of me?

You flick your hair as I take the picture
Pinning you in place with the neon dot
Your smile is only for the camera
You're a girl that could make my blood clot

You say you've met over forty - oh lady luck.
Am I just another in this long and lonely line?
How many kissed? How many touched? How many fucked?
How many did you give this time?

Are you taking that piece of me?
Won't you tell me?
Are you taking the piss, mate?
Track Name: Five Bassets
We tried to play it right, we gave it all our might
But I couldn't trust my hands cos I was slavering, man
I tried to tame my sight on the silver whispering night
A glistening gold sun-tan cos I was slavering, man

Bad thoughts were gathering
I couldn't stop it happening
You kick the teeth in
And you break your knees
And throw the fragments to the breeze

Five bassets and i've got to run, don't get me wrong come on
My heart it weighs a bloody tonne, won't you come?
Five bassets and i've got to run, it's been too long since i've seen the sun
I want to beat them up, come on
Smash shit up and put your lipstick on

Put on your blazer and play it safe
What a waste, what a waste, what a waste, a waste
No wear or tear on your young face
Sick of your fake and hollow displays
Locking up life in a little chrome maze

I'm dancing in the extension, too many chemicals here to mention
No point in paying attention, if you have to force it, it's a detention
The past no longer trapping, vines and thorns and claws are scratching

Mental case, unoriginal sin, and i'm happier than i've ever been
The past can be remade, man
In the supermarket, park or out in town
Not letting my I let me drown
The present is all that's existing now

Five bassets and i've got to run, don't get me wrong come on
My brain, she's not having fun, for a lowlife you're so highly strung
Bloated nights and worse next days, take away this fucking haze
And you find that these delays are as precious as your productive days

Rolling in the streets like barrels now,
Brains reprogrammed by ferments now
Come to a stop, red cow
Bend over backwards and hit the ground

Five bassets and i've got to run, break the strings and let it all run
I wouldn't dare lay a finger, come on
Every part but my soul drying up to none

Five bassets and i've got to run, my eyes are parched in the morning sun
I lick my lips with a sizzling tongue, simply forgot to look good again
Track Name: Speak Like My Greyhound
Why don't you speak like my greyhound, baby?
Why don't speak like a lurcher down to me?
Why don't you speak like a whippet who don't know what to say?
Why don't you say what my greyhound said all day?

He didn't make a sound
A muted hound
Close your mouth
I'm peacing out
Track Name: Alright
Stop, look, listen ma'am i'm in no mood so calm it down
I see that you're in a rush but i'm just not so keep it hush
Now i've been told to settle down, I shit you not in this old boys' town
So count your friends and count me out
Because leaving you was a real nice shout
And I love you but remember this? I said we're blessed with different heads
Two steps forwards, three steps back oh leather jacket heart attack
The air is getting heavier like lead, it's bad for you from what i've read
You're shouting out, you're melting down
A fitted dress with a cut out back

Crowds of them, I see again
Darkness smokes my teeth and jokes
And dusty lights, i'm alright

Breath and sweat and falling plaster
Looking like a hot disaster
Waving hands and stamping feet
She was cold but whiskey sweet
Took my hand around her waist
Playing with a different taste
Moving, dancing, flailing hair
Brawling with my twisted stare
Track Name: Making Friends
It was hot on the grey, it was hot where they play
And the coloured lines were fading a bit more by the day
Boys I wasn't friends with were shuffling in the space
And I had a watch around my wrist, I clocked one in the face

And we're friends now, because I hit him
He's so happy now he's bleeding
I'll make some friends tomorrow
Lots of friends tomorrow

Boy like a maggot winds me, I was hurt, I couldn't see
These didn't seem the best of days like they said they'd be
He needs something from life that just isn't happening
But I was happy anyway with life and wet play

In groups we all felt safer but the anger shared grew greater
And the bystander of all this lark stood and would chew paper
His perspective - it was bent - and his jaw was wide and tense
And somebody sprayed 'fuck' right on the flower garden fence
Track Name: Swift
The hot air draughts, up from under me
A cuckoo laughs, insects swarm around me
Gliding fast, make my way across the sea
No need for trees, spit's more use to me

I'm lost, how quick
Aerial acrobatic
A hoot, a screech
I see them on the beach

Tarmac heat, soles melt down to slime
Cars will boil, I stare down as I climb
A nomad gang, out there on the sands
I recognise their walks, family and friends

The hot air draughts, up from under me
A cuckoo laughs, insects swarm around me
Driftwood is burnt, thrown in by salty hands
A perch I spy, I drift down I land
Track Name: I'm Real
Look at my eyes now, twitching grey
There's flecks of gold in them, that's what you say
I can see you now, but I want more
I want the sound of you coming through that door

We meet, we laugh and split
Painful, but every time I can't wait for it
Back to work when you're gone, oh my love it's shit
Try to forget it, but please just remember that i'm real.

Oh come on, expensive wings will do it
There's nothing you could do that I couldn't see through it
The air smells different here, of dirt and heat
We start to fight over the bloody passenger seat

It's like Her for real
Can't wait to be getting there in steel
Just say how you feel
Peel off you're clothes and show you that i'm real
Track Name: Gun
There was a girl, and I was with mine
She called the cops on me and said I had a gun
Said I was beating up mine
I wish I had a gun
Oh how I wish I had a gun at the time

There was a man whilst I was at the bar
Started bitching to me, said I pushed right to the bar
I said 'this is a bar my friend, it's not a line'
Oh how I wish I had a gun at the time

I want to shoot them out the sky
My tongue was wet but the wine was dry
Stick 'em up, put 'em up
I want to shoot them out the sky

There was a girl, and she changed him
He's better now and i'm happy about it
She didn't care and her friend was similar
Oh how I wish I had a gun at the time

There was a man, who tried to take with force
What wasn't his, what wasn't anybody's but whose it is
I'll get rid of him, still I will, still I will
Oh how I wish I had a gun at the time
Track Name: Booze On Sherbert
God Shiva
Shit heater
Didn't meet her
Grey KA
Fire, mud, hay
French femme

I never thought it'd happen, that
Girl's plaits are the thick ends of whips that crack
And I didn't see the day coming when I was meant to pay more attention

I poured booze on sherbert
I got drunk at the beach
I turned to the nearest girl and with my hand did reach
A couple soiled my tent
I cleaned the thing with bleach
And woke up the next morning unable to speak

We went to a mansion
And trod mud in the floors
A girl was playing the piano and didn't know any of the chords
We got trapped in a shed
With a couple of bores
And we punched and we kicked until we broke down the doors

Wasted time on them friends of mine
Couldn't see one that would ever properly shine
It was all a bit dumb but I didn't mind
Now I should say that i've left that all behind
Track Name: My Own Shadow
Got a good sight of a fist in a fight
As I watched it didn't feel right
And I know you can't have wrong without the right
But I finally thought i'd grown into my height

Glanced to the corner and what did I see?
My own shadow far away from me
My own shadow

A million eyes, they excavate the night
And I make my way back under heavy blue light
Walking blood just wants to be liked
And each is filled with pints and pints and pints

Looked across the street and what did I see?
My own shadow stood staring at me
My own shadow

My foot hits the drive and my shoe feels tight
All the trees are reeling back in delight
My fingers, they snap on the lights
My eyes are tight and the floor's oh so bright

Drew back the curtains and what did I see?
My own shadow swims closer to me
My own shadow
Ran up the stairs and what did I see?
My own shadow face to face with me
My own shadow